Big cats and bush craft



In my bush shelter, just like Bear Grrrrrrrrrr ylls



Where does the time go?  I have been having one heck of a summer here in dog world. 

I should start with a massive tail wag  by thanking everyone for reading this – I have now had well over 1000 views from as far afield as the US, Australia, NZ , Holland, Germany, Singapore, Canada, Russia and the United Arab Emirates.  I would particularly like to thank Skydiver Liz, who recently toured Australia’s Apple shops, switching all the display laptops to my home page. Guerrilla marketing at its best!

So what’s been happening.... well, where to start?  Since our holiday at Camp Weird in June I have had some fantastic days out including a particularly good one with the Leigh dog pack and their super-chilled humans, Beardy Gary and Vicar Jan – who had no problem at all with me drinking out of the lavatory, eating a shower scrunchie and at one point climbing onto the dining room table to finish off the delicious fish pie and rhubarb crumble.  B and W were totally mortified of course, which made it even better. 

Another really good day was a couple of weeks’ back when B and W went to help Hairy and Smiley in Wales with the bush craft course they were running. 

Just before we arrived at the farm there was a reliable report of ANOTHER big cat sighting (yes really... see 7^th June blog), and I have to say, I felt this news was treated rather too casually by B and W – especially when Hairy mentioned the words ‘seven feet long’ and ‘glowing yellow eyes’.  Anyhow, fast forward to my evening walk, before going to bed.  It was absolutely pitch black outside and the three of us set off to wander around the big field.  Well, get this – I waited until we were as far away from the farm house as we were going to get, then simply ran into the middle of the field, stared into the blackness and growled as ferociously as I could. 

B and W stopped dead, peered into the gloom for about two minutes and then, to my everlasting delight, turned and did a Linford Christie back to the house.  They could have qualified for the 2012 Olympics.  As B had the only torch, and that was strapped to his head, this resulted in W doing a forward roll into the ditch and both being covered in nettle stings.  Humans are so gullible!

The bush craft course the following day took place in Hairy and Smiley’s woods.  Weird was sent off with Hairy’s mum, Horsey Ann, to make a giant pot of stew, while I went with Beard (aka Ray Mears) to join the course.  It was great. Not only did I sneak up and steal people’s twigs as they desperately tried to light a fire without matches (why?) ... at one point I actually ran right through one bloke’s pathetic little fire and put it out just as the instructor walked towards him.  I waited until lunchtime to run away with the stew ladle (and ate the whole thing) before being flung into the Landrover for the rest of the day. RSPCA take note.

On a positive note, despite B and W’s extreme grumpiness, they seem to have forgotten their threats of castration – although I had a narrow escape when Skydiver Liz called in with some dog treats, which turned out to make me hyperactive.  Frankly that is not my fault – and if Beard will leave his favourite sunglasses next to my bed, what does he expect? 

As well as being grumpy, they are also increasingly eccentric – B has now taken to wearing Bear Grylls survival clothing (quote ‘designed for the alpha male’)  along with a racoon fur hat.  W meanwhile is tackling middle age by having her eyebrows tinted. I got the shock of my life when she walked in on Saturday – she currently looks like the love child of Susan Boyle and Leonid Brezhnev.  B, who never learns, made the fatal mistake of looking up from the laptop and saying “Nice hair but what’s with the Groucho Marx?” You can imagine the consequences.

Which leads me to my news item of the week – also involving a flying missile.  What joy, on the heels of Rupert Murdoch’s custard pie, to see that our favourite magician, Paul Daniels, was hospitalised when Sooty threw a pizza at him. Go bear! 

That’s all folks. I’m off to loot Pets at Home.

Look - no matches!



Full of stew